Drinks and what they say about us...

Drinks That Reflect Personality 

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City  bartenders were asked if they could 'nail' a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: 


PART A: WOMEN - DRINKS, WHO THEY ARE, & YOU! 

Drink: Beer 
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. 

Drink: Blender Drinks 
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.  

Drink: Mixed Drinks 
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants. 
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink......

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel) 
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with her and her friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel 
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue. 
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is..this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots 
Personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait. But, be careful not to make her mad! 

Drink: Tequila 
No explanations required - everyone KNOWS what happens there. 

PART B: MAN - DRINKS & WHO THE MEN ARE! 

THEN, there is the MALE addendum -- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid. 

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid. 

Tequila: He's thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.


White Zinfandel: He's gay 

NASA, Our Constitution and The Ten Commandments

(1) Zero Gravity
When NASA started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them.

(2)Our Constitution
'They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.'

(3) Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse, is that you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians!

It creates a hostile work environment.